A poem

This poem is a beautiful reminder that children are paying attention to our example. They are great imitators. It is written by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan (wow) as a thank you to her mom. I got it from the book The New Good Life by Tim Robbbins.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You hung my first paining on the refrigerator,

And I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking

You fed a stray cat,

And I thought it was food to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You baked a birthday cake just for me,

And I knew that little things were special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You said a prayer,

And I believed there was a god that I could always talk too.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You kissed me goodnight,

and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

I saw tears come from your eyes,

And I learned that sometimes things hurt

But that it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You smiled

And it made me want to look that pretty, too.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You cared,

And I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

I looked,

And wanted to say thanks

For all those thins you did

When you thought I wasn't looking.

Seven sounds so old.

My first born son is now seven. Seven didn't sound old when Charis turned it. But for Paxton it seems old. We've had a very fun birthday weekend. He's so easy to please. It's the best. Every gift is his favorite. He thanked us over and over again. He's the only one like that.

We had pancakes and gifts in the morning. He wanted tamales for lunch. And Chinese food for dinner. My international boy. We ate out with friends. It was a little fancier than our noise level preferred. But it was tasty.

The birthday party was the following day: boys video game sleep over party. So many games. So much junk food. So fun. Most of the boys stayed up until 4am. It was loud. I didn't sleep much.

My heart feels heavy, in a good way, when I think about how much I love my boy. Who is seven.

mothers day

Today was mother's day. This second picture was taken right before we went to the Quail Botanical Gardens, which was after I was served a delicious play-dough meal and given a lovely finger-knit necklace (by Paxton). Charis made me a recycled art car, and Caleb got me a cute little coin purse from Not For Sale (they sell things made by people taken out of human trafficking situations- it's awesome). As I type I'm listening to the record they gave me, She & Him - Vol. One. Good gifts. We walked to the farmer's market and had lunch there : vegan chilli! One thing I really like about this picture is Paxton's hair. He spent a long time combing it - with a comb. He was intreguided by this skinny hair brush that could make his hair lie so flat. Needless to say, I don't usually brush his hair.

Every year we go to Mothers and Others, a luncheon at my mother in law's church. Charis adores the event. She loves getting a new dress from Grams every year. She loves buying the raffle tickets to win a basket, which she never wins. The thing I think she loves the most is telling her brothers about all they missed. Every year Paxton bemoans the fact that there isn't a Fathers and Others, and he asks several times a day about why there isn't one. So sad and cute.

This year I have felt very grateful to BE a mom. In the past I've felt grateful for mine and Caleb's moms before, but this year I'm unusually glad to be the mommy of these 3 kids. I'm not sure why this year has been more this way. But I'm happy for it - I think I get easily bogged down in the small difficulties of daily mothering life and my gratitude level is usually kinda low. Maybe because my kids are getting bigger and aren't as hard as they used to be. But I think that Jonas is one of the funniest, cutest kids I've ever known. Paxton still melts my heat daily; he's such an endearing child. And Charis, oh Charis. My first born, and only girl. It's tough sometimes, but I love her so much. She is so beautiful and smart; so full of ideas and spirit. God knew I was supposed to be these people's mom. I didn't know it, but He did. And I'm glad today.